You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
