Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
