Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize