If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
