Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  ...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.

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  (802): i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager. (802): ...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon. http://tfl.nu/jfhq
  Replies (28) Good night (702) Bad night (2076)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.

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  (859): MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT. http://tfl.nu/s1v1
  Replies (70) Good night (4800) Bad night (1448)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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  (570): Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today. http://tfl.nu/c736
  Replies (5) Good night (1064) Bad night (3264)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat

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  (402): I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat http://tfl.nu/ufc8
  Replies (24) Good night (2440) Bad night (3393)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.

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  (937): She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life. http://tfl.nu/md1r
  Replies (10) Good night (1674) Bad night (5264)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.

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  (814): I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011. http://tfl.nu/1xss
  Replies (4) Good night (1677) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.

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  (912): You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood. http://tfl.nu/fy7n
  Replies (5) Good night (2369) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.

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  (919): Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice. http://tfl.nu/je3x
  Replies (5) Good night (3068) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.

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  (603): He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing. http://tfl.nu/abhc
  Replies (3) Good night (673) Bad night (1471)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.

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  (952): Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost. http://tfl.nu/9cwp
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way

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  (563): it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way http://tfl.nu/kc5u
  Replies (8) Good night (520) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...

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  (802): Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not... http://tfl.nu/ztpl
  Replies (5) Good night (809) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.

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  (202): I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party. http://tfl.nu/j3cs
  Replies (15) Good night (687) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun

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  (760): Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun http://tfl.nu/taap
  Replies (8) Good night (1270) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday

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  (805): My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday http://tfl.nu/39ab
  Replies (2) Good night (817) Bad night (319)

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