Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.

  (917): View more from New York City

  dollar well spent

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  (802): last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears. (917): dollar well spent http://tfl.nu/wmsi
  Replies (15) Good night (3243) Bad night (692)
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  (805): View more from California

  Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.

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  (805): Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras. http://tfl.nu/u72n
  Replies (28) Good night (3077) Bad night (487)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  what drugs are you on?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later

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  (404): I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles! (1-404): what drugs are you on? (404): none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later http://tfl.nu/mtfu
  Replies (26) Good night (5272) Bad night (809)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.

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  (505): That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club. http://tfl.nu/cpxm
  Replies (44) Good night (1034) Bad night (6470)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!

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  (980): i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter! http://tfl.nu/tgxr
  Replies (48) Good night (5472) Bad night (749)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...

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  (586): he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement... http://tfl.nu/jgil
  Replies (13) Good night (859) Bad night (5084)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get

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  (301): Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get http://tfl.nu/ews4
  Replies (64) Good night (5075) Bad night (1563)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow

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  (404): Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow http://tfl.nu/pzca
  Replies (5) Good night (2817) Bad night (1254)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me

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  (309): I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me http://tfl.nu/z5uh
  Replies (5) Good night (1197) Bad night (2561)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation

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  (303): there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation http://tfl.nu/pddg
  Replies (1) Good night (2946) Bad night (729)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him

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  (254): I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him http://tfl.nu/r8ta
  Replies (2) Good night (1860) Bad night (576)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men

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  (541): I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men http://tfl.nu/fivt
  Replies (14) Good night (932) Bad night (1820)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W

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  (603): Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W http://tfl.nu/om4e
  Replies (3) Good night (539) Bad night (593)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.

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  (+61): The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over. http://tfl.nu/0wud
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (353)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.

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  (406): Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out. http://tfl.nu/4zrh
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (673)

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