"it" just moved
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
this just has baby written all over it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
