I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.