They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I want a musical about memes.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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