so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
