Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
