That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
