Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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