i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
