stop calling my apartment porn island.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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