it hurts more in the daytime
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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