I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
