There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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