Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
