I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
