I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
