Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN