38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
