Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask

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  (202): Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask http://tfl.nu/68m0
  Replies (8) Good night (1607) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be

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  (916): Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be http://tfl.nu/iw79
  Replies (24) Good night (949) Bad night (4370)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dont start drinking without me

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  (215): is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor? (609): dont start drinking without me http://tfl.nu/ofdx
  Replies (47) Good night (5008) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.

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  (262): Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award. http://tfl.nu/7kwq
  Replies (6) Good night (3662) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch

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  (954): my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch http://tfl.nu/nq1q
  Replies (12) Good night (3104) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list

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  (330): Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list http://tfl.nu/ucvs
  Replies (40) Good night (1561) Bad night (14017)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out

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  (914): I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out http://tfl.nu/ow35
  Replies (11) Good night (1334) Bad night (2441)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?

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  (269): He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated? http://tfl.nu/6x14
  Replies (16) Good night (932) Bad night (3739)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito

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  (702): I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito http://tfl.nu/vmgk
  Replies (4) Good night (1761) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil

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  (507): I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil http://tfl.nu/ueg4
  Replies (7) Good night (904) Bad night (1642)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.

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  (321): When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week. http://tfl.nu/6col
  Replies (11) Good night (692) Bad night (1542)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused

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  (781): So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused http://tfl.nu/u6gk
  Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous

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  (412): I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous http://tfl.nu/3tdu
  Replies (2) Good night (401) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  it's too much effort for something that isn't food.

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  (864): it's too much effort for something that isn't food. http://tfl.nu/kjmt
  Replies (0) Good night (417) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.

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  (956): There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried. http://tfl.nu/mygr
  Replies (0) Good night (417) Bad night (284)

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