Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.

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  (505): I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets. http://tfl.nu/lw2y
  Replies (6) Good night (3174) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.

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  (937): Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in. http://tfl.nu/kwq2
  Replies (24) Good night (3377) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I guess it was more of a nightmare.

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  (817): I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to. (817): I guess it was more of a nightmare. http://tfl.nu/fsml
  Replies (60) Good night (927) Bad night (3926)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight

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  (304): I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight http://tfl.nu/2lmk
  Replies (23) Good night (4565) Bad night (1104) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.

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  (610): As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet. http://tfl.nu/swmp
  Replies (18) Good night (9826) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

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  (407): I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/u472
  Replies (30) Good night (8899) Bad night (924) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.

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  (201): Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom. http://tfl.nu/isil
  Replies (20) Good night (1533) Bad night (2732) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.

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  (941): its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though. http://tfl.nu/5tqm
  Replies (10) Good night (5051) Bad night (851)
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  (845): View more from New York

  you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes

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  (845): you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes http://tfl.nu/5rry
  Replies (5) Good night (3259) Bad night (783) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around

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  (407): Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around http://tfl.nu/jysb
  Replies (5) Good night (800) Bad night (1270) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.

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  (770): You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned. http://tfl.nu/2qpc
  Replies (5) Good night (2059) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (+79): View more from

  You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win

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  (+79): You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win http://tfl.nu/jmv2
  Replies (4) Good night (1659) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.

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  (215): It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater. http://tfl.nu/563x
  Replies (5) Good night (298) Bad night (1244) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.

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  (817): Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty. http://tfl.nu/lz9h
  Replies (5) Good night (295) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.

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  (860): Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night. http://tfl.nu/jb56
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (132)

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