I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i only shaved half my leg
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.