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• (949): View more from California

  either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

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• (909): View more from California

  flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (302): View more from Delaware

  Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Just look for the house with the beer knights.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool

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• (315): View more from New York

  There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.

  (315): View more from New York

  Send help.

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