just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going