So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is wine microwaveable?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
