Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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