Who did Billy Mays play for?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
