I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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