This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
