I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Alive.
So much puke
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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