he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Farmville is her only friend.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
