He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
