whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
