East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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