i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Randomize
