I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
