I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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