Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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