dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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