omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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