Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
