Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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