I feel great
I just peed on a car
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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