David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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