the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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