Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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