Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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