I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
