I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
