Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
