I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Plan B is the new Plan A
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We are all done wearing pants today
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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