Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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