have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
