he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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