why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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