maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
