Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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