Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
