??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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