she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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