I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
