she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
