I want to have your abortion
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize