Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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